The Little Things and the Prospect of the Future

Apologizes for the lack of blogging. Lots of things have happened since I have last written, many the same and some worthy of sharing. Let's start with something fun, shall we?

I'd like to introduce the newest member of my (possession) family! And don't get too excited it is not alive. Here is Mo! After much debate, research, and a little spontaneity I purchased this ukulele. Within a couple days I had a few songs down and was really excited to bring it into the woods. This also turned out to be a huge success! I was able to connect with a few of the other girls who played instruments and they all enjoyed listening to it before they went to bed. On top of that, my co- staff also really enjoy it and got to mess around a little bit. I am very happy with my purchase and even think that playing the ukulele could help with my guitar skills. Not that I'm going to bring a guitar into the woods!

Speaking of the woods, this week it rained, a lot. One might call this a less than enjoyable experience. But having a rain jacket and rain pants is a game changer. You literally can not survive without them. The temperatures in the mountains dropped a lot lower than I thought they would for being mid August. We were down in the low sixties and high fifties most nights. And I was so thankful to have a bivy sack and down sleeping bag to climb into with my dry clothes! There are few better feelings than being warm and dry at the end of a long day while listening to the rain fall on the tarp, especially when you aren't on night checks and don't have to get up every three hours to make sure all the kids are there!

I also learned that being in the woods while it is raining made me look harder for the things that I was thankful for. Hmmm. Maybe I should rewind a little, I'm not sure I've touched on this subject for awhile. Some time back a friend named Joh, from the internship I completed gave me a book. It is called "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. The book is about eurcharisteo - thanksgiving. It is about joy, perspective, and above all, thankfulness. One of the things the author talked about was how she wanted to write a list of 1000 things she is grateful for, in the moments she sees or feels gratitude. So as I began to read the book, I also began to make my list. And I was shocked that when I started to look for what I was thankful for I saw way more than I expected. "Do not disdain the small. The whole of the life - even the hard - is made up of the minute parts, and if I miss the infinitesimals, I miss the whole. There is a way to live the big of giving thanks in all things. Is it this: to give thanks in the one small things. The moments will add up" (57). There is so much to be thankful for. There is SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR! And when I started noticing all that I was thankful for, I began to look for what I was thankful for, I began to search it out. When I was dripping sweat wearing long sleeves and pants, hiking up hill for the past half an hour, listening to the kids grumble and being on the verge of grumbling myself, I can think of what I am actually doing. I have a physically healthy body that can perform this activity. I have no concern for when I will eat next. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, there is beauty all around me and I am thankful. And when you focus on the positive, you leave no room for the negative. "Joy is the realest reality, the fullest life, and joy is always given, never grasped. God gives gifts and I give thanks and I unwrap the gift given: joy" (57).  I can't express what a change this concept has made in my life. And I feel like this is so obvious and so simple, but it has never clicked until now. I desperately sought joy when for a long time. I can remember in high school going around to trusted teachers and asking if they were happy and how. Since jr high, I've seemed to have a struggle with joy, never fully grasping it. But this. This concept. Joy was always there, joy is always there, I just wasn't looking in the right place. And the right place is everywhere. Thankfulness gives way to joy.

Back to the raining woods, I had to look harder for thanksgiving because when it's been raining for the entire day and you still have to go on a water run and build a fire to get dinner ready and you have to sit on the wet and muddy ground and it is the seventh day you've eaten peanut butter and torts for lunch and... the list goes on, it is hard to see what you can possibly be thankful for. But it is there! The fog that hugged the mountains when the rain cleared. The field of wildflowers growing below our campsite. The fresh blue and black berry bushes. The little bird who hung around our campsite. Getting up a little early to go check out a potential day hike to the top of bald that was wildly overgrown by beautiful wildflowers, dozens of butterflies, and even hummingbirds! Watching a sunset over the mountain range with nine girls who have their whole lives ahead of them. I have so much to be thankful for. And I am joyful.

So lets move on to the 'prospect of the future' part of this blog. I've been setting aside some time to think about my future, not to get ahead of myself but to begin to explore some options. I've noticed that time is flying by and I have a feeling June (although seemingly far away) will be here before I know it. And I don't want to be asking myself, 'now what?' when it does get here. Instead I'm asking myself, 'then what?' And I'm excited by the possibilities! You might know that I have a degree in English Education, and as of late I've been thinking of putting it to use. Not in the 'traditional' form I suppose but I've been thinking of teaching abroad. And then I felt a feeling of looking into missions work. In the past year I've had 'feelings' about what I am suppose to do next in my life: the LCM program and moving to NC for this job in Wilderness Therapy. If I'm being honest, I'd say they are more than feelings, rather callings. And God has been more than faithful to me when I listen to His callings. So I began to look into it. After finding and talking to a representative from a missions organization I really became more interested. Now I have never been out of the country, besides Canada, but I had also never been to NC and God is faithful; granted out of the country is quite different, but God is faithful always! And the idea of going overseas both excites me and makes me nervous. I don't want to commit to anything that could possibly be a bad fit on either side, so I am looking into doing a short term trip (7-10 days) within the next couple seasons and getting that experience and seeing if it's something that I am feeling called to do long term, potentially next June into the foreseeable future. This is not a short or easy process and still very much in the beginning steps. I feel really good about it and know that whether it is missions work or something that I have not found yet, I will be where I am suppose to be and doing work to bring glory to God. As I continue with this process I would appreciate prayers on my behalf for wisdom and guidance.

As for right now I'm content where I am. I am finding joy in the present and excitement for what the future holds. I also think I'm going to get a hair cut, but I haven't quite decided yet. So I think that wraps up this post.

Until next time, be grateful for the little beauties that surround you. There is so much to be thankful for. 

Oh yeah, and I bought a new buff (the weird thing on my head). That's not exactly how you wear it but, "if you're going to be weird, be confident about it!"