Lately I have been feeling a little bit like a caged animal pacing behind the bars of my cage, drooling over the adventure and 'freedom' I see just beyond my reach. Ok, maybe that is a little bit of an exaggeration, but not much. I am starting to feel antsy for a new adventure. Perhaps that is partly because I have been a little bit of a shut in since Asheville got snow everything has been closed. Seriously, they cancelled church today.
Here's the problem though, I'm too much of a 'plan person' to just pick up and move. I guess you could call me "responsible." I want to have adventures - I want to just get in my car and drive! Buuuuut, I have an apartment that I have to pay rent for and a job that I'm expected to show up to and bills and ugh. Adult life. And yet, I kind of like all those things; you see I'm in this pickle. Let me break it down for you.
Pickle: Part 1
I want to go places and travel, have new experiences.
Pickle: Part 2
I want to settle down and have a home base.
Pickle: Part 3
I want a new job.
Pickle: Part 4
I like my job and I'm being offered new opportunities.
Pickle: Part 5
I don't know what I want to do with my life.
So you see, I am in a pickle. And if you know me, you'll know that struggling with living in the present and being content has always been something of a struggle for me. Honestly, living and working here in NC has probably been the longest time that I have felt content and present. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that these feelings are back, and I'm starting to wonder if every human gets these feelings and desires.
I guess in some ways the future kind of scares me though. I mean, here I am 24 years old, with a handful of experiences and still very much clueless with what I want to do. Yeah, sure, go ahead and say it. "Rachel.... YOU'RE 24!" But I hate that! The new thing with my generation is that, "it's ok to not know what you're doing." But is it? And yeah, sure I know that I am doing things to further my career and I am saving money and, really, I'm in a pretty good place for a 24 year old, but I still have this nagging feeling. I don't even know what my 5 year goal would be at this point. It is all very stressful for me to think about.
Really I just wish that someone would tell me what to do, what job to have, where to move or stay. But we all know that's not going to happen, unless it is myself. But uh, if yall know of any cool opportunities that you think I'd be a good match for, don't hesitate to shoot them my way!
Alright, alright, I'm sure that's enough of a view into my crazy brain for this post. Let me get back to the present moment. Last shift one of my bosses asked me to read a couple books. One of them is called, "Shouting at the Sky," by Gary Ferguson. If you have read my blog in the past, you will know that I have struggled with describing what I do for work. THIS BOOK is the closest and most descriptive account of what I do. Obviously there are differences because it is not the same program but the meat of it all is the same. The book is a narrative that goes through the day to day of Wilderness Therapy. I highly recommend it, it is powerful stuff.
I was also asked if I wanted to create and run a Lead Training program for work. It was pretty awesome that I was asked to do this and I have already started working on it, and have come up with some pretty cool things that I'm excited to present. I'll have to keep you all posted!
Alright, well that is it for now. Sorry for the abrupt ending, but that's all I got!
Until next time, read that book.
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